Begining Of Spring Blues-Thursday, Mar. 04, 2004 @ 11:18 p.m.

It's getting warm outside and that's dangerous for me. Changes in the seasons always make me go a little crazy. I just want to jump in the car and go driving for hours and hours.

But I can't, so I'll sit here and be restless.

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So, yeah. Jonathan called today. We talked for about 10 minutes. I guess I overreacted. But what do you expect? He went from calling me everyday to not calling me for about five days. There's something strange there. But I guess we're cool. I'm dying to call him right now to see if he wants to get together for a little bit. I've got two hours to kill before I have to pick up my brother. But now I'm too chicken shit to call him because I don't want him to think I'm all clingy now.

Because I called him last night. After I swore I wouldn't, I fucking called him. I gor drunk and brave... no, drunk and stupid and called him. He didn't answer, I didn't leave a message.

And now I want to see him and am being all 15 years old and afraid to call him. I fucked this guy and now I'm afraid to call him.

Damn me.

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I guess I'll head down to the bar for a little bit. Nothing else to do.

previous <-----> next

i'm trying - Tuesday, Apr. 26, 2005
... - Wednesday, Mar. 30, 2005
- - Tuesday, Aug. 31, 2004
baby doll lips - Friday, Aug. 20, 2004
unwanted hiatus - Thursday, Aug. 12, 2004