Birthday, David and Sobriety-Monday, Mar. 22, 2004 @ 1:46 a.m.

I've been negligent as of late. Sorry bout that. So much to update though.

My birthday was ok. Went to dinner with Anne at Tidewater where I got to eat for free. Yes, free. Love that place. Then we went to Legends where I proceeded to get drunk even though I hadn't planned on it. Damn Alex was giving me free shots of SoCo And lime and a guy I went to high school with bought me a few shots. So I got totally wasted. And I didn't want to. I was planning on being good for my bday then getting shitty on Friday at my brother's show. Oh well. It was fun and it was my birthday so I guess it was inevitable.

Anyway, on to Friday. We got our asses kicked at work for lunch. I ended up staying over 4 hours. It was the second day of boys basketball at the civic center so they all come to the club to eat. I made lots of money though. That night was my brothers' gig at The Glass and David's band opened up. Remember David? The nice boy who I have a little crush on? His pictures on my pictures page. Go have a look, he's a cute one.

Anyway, Anne and I get there to hear their last few songs. I didn't care for them. David's a hell of a drummer though. Turned me on quite a bit, I'll tell you that. I've never really been interested in a drummer before. But they finished and he came over to say hi to us and I give him the regular, "You guys sounded great!" and you know what he said to me? (keep in mind it's been about three weeks since I last saw him) He said, "Happy belated birthday!" I thought my brother had said something to him, but no. David actually remembered my birthday! I know I had mentioned to him last time I saw him that the 19th show was going to be a big belated birthday bash for me, but I honestly never ever ever thought he'd remember. But he did! That got me.

But, to continue, After they played there was another band going on before my brothers and I didn't really care for them. So Anne and I decided to head to The Bar for a few minutes to buy tickets for the upcoming Clutch show. As we're leaving The Glass, David's outside loading stuff into his Jeep and he asks if we're leaving. I say, "No, we'll be back," and I swear to fucking god, he had a smile on his face. Not just any smile, but a smile.

We got The Bar and I forgot that Scott would be working upstairs. Scott that I kissed last week. I don't mention anything to him, don't act weird and it's all cool. Just pretended nothing happened. It was a lot easier than I thought it would be.

We leave there, go back to The Glass. Go inside and sit down for a bit. David comes and sits next to me. We talk, and he buys me a beer for my birthday (he knows the way to my heart!) I ask him about my tattoo. Last time we talked he said he'd design something for me. But when I asked him Friday I expected him to either not remember, or not have done it. I was wrong on both counts. He said, "I don't really know what you want so I did this tribal type thing that has your name in it, but you can't really see your name unless you're looking for it." And that fucking floored me. Not only had he done a design but it was something rather personal. It has my name in it. That just got me thinking that means he had to sit there one day and think about me. Meaning, how often does he think about me? A million thoughts running through my head and I start to believe that this guy might actually like me. I ask Anne what she thinks and she's sure of it, but god damn it, I don't know.

Brothers' band, The Box, plays and it's me, Anne and Erica all up front dancing. Oh yeah and David. He stay close to me the whole time. In front of me, but close to me. A few times here and there we dance together, him pulling me close and me shaking my ass against him. It was nice to be held. And the show was amazing. Absofuckinglutely amazing. Probably the best Box show ever. And you know what? I was sober. I stayed sober all night. Only had four beers. God it fucking rocked. I wish you all could hear them.

So they finish, and we sit down to recover. And David, who's pretty drunk by this point, comes over and sits and talks with us. And we flirt. We touch hands every now and then, he touches my knee, my thigh, my arm, looks into my eyes all that butterfly in the stomach stuff that people hate to read about. I find out at this point that he likes Chevelle which wins major points in my book. So, flirting flirting flirting and we're all going to leave and he says he wants to hang out with me some more. I'm with Anne though and she wants to go home. The band is going back to the office to party and he wants to go so he says he'll give me a ride home. He has to unload stuff so I get a ride over with Erica and he meets us there. More flirting and hugging and such. Much much more of the looking into my eyes. At one point he tells me I've got the most beautiful green eyes and at that point I want to kiss him but I'm afraid to. I just blushed and said thank you. So, we hang out at the office for about four hours or so, and finally, about 6 a.m. he decides it's time to go. He takes me and in the car we're talking about music and I tell him that Radiohead is my all time favourite band and he's speechless. He's so quite that I think ti's bad and I say, "Is that a bd thing?" And he says, "No, that's amazing," and puts a Radiohead song on. We're in front of the house and we're saying goodbye and I don't know what to do. I wanted to kiss him so so bad, but I couldn't find the nerve. So I give him one of those awkward in the car hugs. He says he'll call me tomorrow. And I go in the house all glowing and giddy and unable to sleep because I can't stop thinking about him.

But he didn't call yesterday. So I called him last night. He was at a prebirthday party some friends were throwing for him about 30 minutes outside of town. He wanted me to come over though. I told him I couldn't since I was with Anne and I knew she wouldn't want to drive all the way out there. He then said something about getting together today or Tuesday since it'll be his birthday. I didn't hear from him today though. If I don't hear from him I'll at least call on Tuesday to wish him happy birthday. I think I might also burn the Chevelle cd's I have and give them to him as a gift. He doesn't have either album, just stuff he's downloaded.

So, that was my weekend. I went out last night but not a damn single interesting thing happened. And I was sober again.

Oh god, I really like David. Can't stop thinking about him. He's so much fun. And sweet and talented and charming. Oh I hope he calls tomorrow.


For some reason, when I woke up on Friday I decided to quit smoking. I've done pretty good so far. Didn't smoke at all yesterday. I broke down and had two cigarettes at work tonight though. Working in a restaurant, it's hard to not smoke. They go hand in hand. But I'll try my best.

I donít even know why I want to quit. The health hazards have never bothered me. I just decided. I think maybe that I just want to see if I can do it.

I'm so tired. I need a few days off. I need to get away for a little while. I don't see that happening anytime soon though.

Want David to take me away.....


previous <-----> next

i'm trying - Tuesday, Apr. 26, 2005
... - Wednesday, Mar. 30, 2005
- - Tuesday, Aug. 31, 2004
baby doll lips - Friday, Aug. 20, 2004
unwanted hiatus - Thursday, Aug. 12, 2004