Anyway...

I called David today to wish him happy birthday. His phone was turned off, so I left him a quick message. "Hey, David, it's Mary, just wanted to wish you a happy birthday and see how your day was going. Give me a call back." Ten minutes later I get this text message from him, "Battery's about dead. Thanks for the wish."

For fucks's sake, David, give me something to work with here.

SO I text him back with, "I have a birthday gift for you actually. Busy tomorrow night? I'll be at the bar if you wanna drop by." And I haven't heard back from him. I'll assume his phone is dead and he hasn't gotten the message yet. Or maybe he got it and doesn't see any reason to reply.

Or maybe he thinks I'm psycho, or maybe he's just shy. Or maybe I need to stop worrying about because I haven't done anything over the top, I've only called him twice and I really didn't even ask him out so much as tell him to stop the place I'm going to be hanging out at.

Chill, Mary, chill out... You're gonna be ok... say the god damn words.....

But I like him. I want to like him more. But I can't freak out. Be cool and calm because that�s the you he's gonna like, not the freaky obsessive twit hat you're being right now.

I'm good.

Today sucked. Work was so slow. And I overslept. I will get up at a decent fucking hour tomorrow weather it kills me or not.

And I've caved on the not smoking thing. I bought a pack of cigarettes today. Gaaaa... I know, I suck. After this pack though, that's it. I'm going to challenge myself and I will succeed!!!!! I just know I'll need to smoke tomorrow night. Wondering if David's going to show is going to be WAAAAY too much stress to handle with just beer. Need the nicotine, baby.

Tomorrow's my day off. Need to laundry and all that wonderful shit. Oh, and dye my hair. Fun fun. So I'll be a nice bright red head for David tomorrow....

Damn it... stop it, David, get out of my head please.

I should just give up and go to bed. This entry isn't going anywhere but obsessive....