Tidal Waves, They Rip Right Through Me-Tuesday, Mar. 30, 2004 @ 3:17 p.m.

I've decided I need to read a book. I haven't had a good book in a while. That's because all my favourite authors haven't published any books lately. So, I'm asking for your help. Someone suggest a good book for me to read. I prefer fiction, satire, dark comedy and drama. Think Chuck Palahniuk, Chris Rice, Bret Easton Ellis.

Suggest away dear readers.

I've fallen in love, absolutely fallen in love with the new Blink 182 album. And that's something I never, never thought I'd say. I even whipped out my headphones last night and listened to it, not once, not twice, but three times. I wanted to hear every little itty bitty detail they'd thrown in there. And I love it. Love it all. It's been a while since an album has really grabbed me like that. It's a wonderful feeling. Made me think I was 15 again, listening to Dark Side of the Moon over and over and over again.

And it made me feel better. Because my dad was so hateful last night it killed me. Tore me down completely. And I did what I used to do. Curl up on my bed with a good album. Music makes the pain go away.

Didn't hear from David last night until 3:30 am. Got a random text message from him. We exchanged a few of those and he ended up calling me. We talked a little bit, he asked how my day was, what I did, wanted to know if I was going to see my brother's band play this weekend. We hung up, then texted a few more times.

I'm not going to worry about him, about what this may be anymore. I'm just going to let it happen. That's what needs to happen. Because me freaking about and being psycho isn't going to help anything. And that's not who I want to be. I used to be strong and and independent, years and years ago. And so much has happened in the past two years to change all that. And I don't like what I've changed into. I'm going to be strong again. I'm going to be who I want to be.

And I know I keep saying that, but I really need to try. Because right now, I'm not happy and something needs to change.

Have I mentioned that LiveJournal sucks? I started one up so that I could read people's diaries when they do that friend sonly shit, and I thought about actually writing in it, but I tried and tried for hours last night to make it look pretty and that's just impossible. So, if anyone knows how to make a pretty layout or whatever on LJ, let me know. I'd worship you forever.

previous <-----> next

i'm trying - Tuesday, Apr. 26, 2005
... - Wednesday, Mar. 30, 2005
- - Tuesday, Aug. 31, 2004
baby doll lips - Friday, Aug. 20, 2004
unwanted hiatus - Thursday, Aug. 12, 2004