--Tuesday, Jun. 15, 2004 @ 4:56 a.m.

i can't sleep. i suppose i'll just stay awake. if i were to go to sleep i'd just end up sleeping until late afternoon and i can't do that. i have so much to do tomorrow.

i can't stop thinking about this boy from saturday. we hooked up at a bar and he took me his place and had some really amazing sex. i've sort of known this guy for a while. he's incredibly beautiful and amazingly interesting. he treated me so well that night and he next day. he talked to me while we were laying in bed and he even held me while we slept. we talked on the ride home even. we didnt' exchange phone numbers though. i didnt want to, didn't even ask. couldn't take the disappointment because i know he wouldn't have called anyway. nothing will happen with us though. he's to beautiful for me. and i don't really think i want anything to happen, except maybe more sex. cause oh my god, it was so good.

but there's the boy from work that i do want to have something with, but he's giving me nothing. i gave him my number and still nothing. i see him at work and he's all hey, how ya doing, always talking to me when he sees me, but no call. no, let's hang out and really, really get to know each other. he knows i like him. i don't know if i wrote about it, but we spent the night together a week ago. no sex. just talking and kissing. i told him i didn't want to have sex with him that night because if i did, there was the possibility that's all it would be and i like him too much to do that.

just give me someone to love.

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i'm trying - Tuesday, Apr. 26, 2005
... - Wednesday, Mar. 30, 2005
- - Tuesday, Aug. 31, 2004
baby doll lips - Friday, Aug. 20, 2004
unwanted hiatus - Thursday, Aug. 12, 2004