hi Mary,I know that I should wait for your reply. before I send you new note. but I like to do it anyway. its fun for me to think that a beautiful young girl. has a thing for me. even thou deep inside I know you do not . it still makes me fill good about myself. and at this time in my life I need something to because I just cant find it in myself. but I can only blame me for the problems I create for† me.but hay life is short and for the most part im happy.specially win I look in your eyes and become lost to the word , and for one moment I believe in heaven. then I know to look away before†i'm †couth and you realize that i'm look at you. and i cant say what i wont to say. that's †when i feel like a moron. when i cant tell you that i wanted you to walk with me to, to my car today. and ask you out. to tell you that my day is allways britter when we work together or just seening you makes my hart race. so i'm realy lost now† because ,telling you all this . I should not do. but i did† still I know the score and you will neverhere me say I love why did i say that i do not know I gues it's not to scary you away but it could hapen mybe a few years down the road but still I sead it could hapen not it's giong to hapen. and I hope that this note does not change our friendship becauce I would like to see it grow .so maby I should stop for the night.so please call me soon .
and keep in mind, i've copied and pasted these emails. all those typos are true. i haven't changed anything in them.
oh it makes me sick. and iím probably going to have to talk to him tomorrow. ugh......
i got really fucked up last night. iím not going out with erica anymore because i just get too bad when iím with her. i drink way too much.