no more of this shit-Wednesday, Jul. 14, 2004 @ 2:17 p.m.

so, the married stalker guy sent me this email:

HI Mary, what happened today? will I tell to what happened to me. When Rebecca called to inform me that next week  I will be helping my bother-in-law  with work around his house since I do not have anything to during the day before I go to work not to say that I mind helping Rick out but she said that since I don't work in the day that I should have something to do  and not be lazy I guess the two or three hours of sleep I get before I that her to work should be  sufficient enough. to last all day and night. SO she made me upset. think that my eight hours of work is not good enough for her that I sill must work longer because she hot happy. with the hours I work. But hay lets get off of me and get back to us. I was deeply saddling today when you would not hold a conversation with me. girl I will say this what ever I said  to you. to make you this way towards me please say what it was silo I can fix it. please Mary don't come to work again and act like you don't want to say a word to me I can't take it I would quite that job then have you not talking to me.but hay if this is all my paranoia. then the next time you see me slap me in the face and tell me that I have nothing to fear. I must go now..SO i'm going to call you after I send this note to tell you that I sent you something

and please, keep in mind, those typos are genuine. i couldn’t, even if i wanted to, make that shit up. so i sent this to him:

look, i'm trying my best not to be a bitch, by this whole thing has caught me off guard. and honestly, there are things that i feel i can't tell you now, knowing the the things i know and the way you feel about me. and if that makes me a bad person, then so be it. but, honestly, you've put me in an awkward situation. i thought you were my friend, and nothing more. and now, i feel i have to second guess everything you say and do because i feel like you have ulterior motive. and yes, i will be standoffish for a while i can't help that. it's the way i am. you unloaded a lot on me that i wasn't expecting. and you know that i'm trying to develop a relationship with another guy. and honestly, things would never work out with us. we're at two completely different points in our lives and we have two totally different lifestyles. another time and place, maybe, but not right now. please stop with the continuous phone calls. i'm sorry i didn't call you back yesterday, but i left my phone on silent and didn't check my messages. i just, for a day, wanted to be detached from the world.

and i don't know what else to say.

and he sent this back

Hi Mart, You can  stop warring about me. first I need to say this is the reason I started to call you again I leased to somebody else. this person told me that you liked me and you would like to go out with me.that goes to show  me  that  I should've came to you first. but Mary I told you that I did not want a real serious  relationship. somebody to go out during the day. somebody to make me forget my troubles at home. that is I don't know if I'm going to stay here. all the thing I try to fix. seem to come undone.as soon as I fix them. I guess I fuck up allot. now I'm trying to fix the thing I broke with you.I'm  really sorry for tell my true filling for you. but I could not keep then inside any longer. do you remember the time Susan ,you and me went to the bar I wanted to tell you then.I was to afraid to I did not want my marriage to be over then. but now I see its to late for that.it's only a matter of time.  As for you trying to build this relationship serious I did not that it was for real ( with another guy ) that is. I can only say that I hope that it's work out. and I mean it. for your happens and well being matter to me  if you ever need anything just late me know. Will be there for you. I must go now so please forgive me.

and the funny thing is, that night we went to the bar, i lied and told him i had to go home, when i actually was bored off my ass and left and went to david’s.

he called me four times the other day. four times in five hours. hopefully this has put an end to it all. if i get another call or another email i’m just going to flip the fuck out and tell him to not even fucking look at me again.

previous <-----> next

i'm trying - Tuesday, Apr. 26, 2005
... - Wednesday, Mar. 30, 2005
- - Tuesday, Aug. 31, 2004
baby doll lips - Friday, Aug. 20, 2004
unwanted hiatus - Thursday, Aug. 12, 2004