and believe me, i know i canít save him. i know i canít do anything for him and i know that just having sex with him doesnít help either of our situations really, but honestly, i donít think it hurts either. and while i do care about him, i know i donít want to be with him. that i realized last night. but i do want to he there for him. because there is something about him that iím drawn to. and i canít forget last night. i canít simply pass off running into him at the store like that. iím not big into the whole fate aspect of like, but there are exceptions. last night was meant to happen. i never see him out. i only ever see him at the bars and even then, thatís a rare occasion. and maybe, as sparta says, you canít defend it/itís predetermined.
but i donít want to think about it right now. because while it all feels ok and right in a way, thereís no way i can fully explain myself so that anyone would even remotely begin to understand me. yaíll can just call me a bleeding heart, hopeless romantic pisces.
iíve been busting my ass at work. iím trying to remember my last day off and itís not coning to mind. maybe last wednesday? i should be off saturday. i plan on going to the day on the green at coonskin and just chillin out. taking a blanket, taking off my shoes, laying in the grass and drinking beer. good times.