but it was also probably the best night of my life.

i got so fucked up and shit just got so bad and i just had to let it all out. i was sitting out back of one of the bars with one of the boys from work. we�re cool with each other, but things were so awkward for a while because of something that happened a few months back and it really almost screwed things up. but it happened last night that he and i were pretty much stuck downtown waiting for a cab and i let it all go on him. and he was so very wonderful to me. he told me he thinks the world of me, that i�m his girl and he�d always be there for me. oh god i told him so much. i told him things i hadn�t even admitted to myself. but it feels so good now to have gotten everything out and i know he meant everything he said. i know that he�ll be there for me. he even gave me his shirt to wear because i was cold. and this is the thing that got me, that still makes me feel so good. we were in the cab and was about to pass out so i laid my head in his lap. and he started stroking my hair, comforting me. then he leaned down and kissed me on the forehead and held my hand. it was so comforting and such a small series of gestures that just made me feel so loved. i can�t wait to see him tonight and give him a a big hug.

i�ll explain more later.